Communication is Everything and Everything We Do Communicates
How to Convey Your Message with Candor, Confidence and Conviction
Mark "Tenacious" Towers
Speak Out Seminars, LLC
(This seminar was delivered at the 2007 American Fence Association annual conference. The seminar was excellent and Mark is outstanding! I bought his book and encourage you to do the same. Go to his website above and prepare to be blessed, strengthened, humored, and encouraged!)
How to remove invisible roadblocks that stand between you and other people
Education (learning more about one another) – find out about others by asking about their hometown, hobby, and hot button(s).
Laughter – Use AT&T (Appropriate, Timely and Tasteful) humor. If in doubt, throw it out (don’t use it).
Where am I, who are we, where are we going? Three questions.
Learn to tell stories, people like stories.
Powerhouse Principles that will distinguish you as someone who always shoots straight.
In terms of human communication, these are the most important, in order:
Honesty
Forward Looking
Inspirational
Competence
The first three are character-related, the last is competency related…
Three types of skills: Technical, Organizational, People
Two proven questioning techniques to encourage people to "open up":
· What is your understanding of... (Best question in America, you cannot answer “yes” or “no.”)
· The Echo Technique (ask them their favorite thing about the last two things they just said…)
"Bread and butter principles and behaviors" tailored for you to make an impact in today's workplace.
Principles of Communication:
· I was able to relay the receiver my exact message.
· In order to influence anyone, I must show that I can be influenced.
· Communication is about power. Power is about boundaries and boundaries mean no. (the waterline... How much can a front line Ritz Carlton employee spend to satisfy a customer without checking with management? NOT whatever it takes, but there is a number... $2,000! Bob: Interesting side-note: My TSA lock was not on my suitcase when we landed, and I’m sure I put it on. I went to the Continental desk at SeaTac and they said locks were not insured and they couldn’t do anything about it (locks only cost a few dollars). Did I leave as a satisfied customer?)
Behaviors of Communication:
Listen
Ask questions
Tell stories that are short, positive and have a moral. (they are coat pegs in your mind)
Life is about the choices you make and the commitments you honor.
The four levels of communication that you can use to adjust your efforts to fit the situation:
You can tell people what they want to hear (appease them).
You can tell people what you think.
You can tell people what you feel.
You can tell people what is in your gut.
The Communication Triangle
Draw a Triangle…
In the Center of the triangle: Critical Conversations
Three Legs of the triangle: Diverse Opinions, Emotional Content, Lofty Stakes
Ben Franklin: That which begins in anger ends in shame.
Imagine a scale from 1 to 10. Regarding someone speaking to you directly, use this rating:
1 = Kid Gloves
5 = Middle of the Road
10 = Straight On
90% of people want to hear input at level 7 or higher... In the workplace, if you have to confront an issue, DO NOT start out with a positive affirmation - just get right to it! "Be hard on the issue and soft on the person."
Three choices in life:
LIVE with it.
LOBBY to change it.
LEAVE
Military Commander said the following: "We don't negotiate with children or terrorists."
It's not about the decisions you make, it's about the energy you bring to the decision.
Put this on a post-it note above your desk: "Obligation or Opportunity?"
Communicating with others is an opportunity if you look it at that way."
How to turn your ideas into actions and communicate the methods that will increase productivity and pride in the workplace.
The three concepts that will get you the most bang for the buck in the communication arena are pride, praise, and enthusiasm.
Pride: When expressing pride, pay close attention to your face. (Use the toilet paper smiley... Get your eye brows up!)
Praise: Use this sentence lead-in - "What I like about you is..."
Enthusiasm: Notch your excitement level up about 20%. It's not hokey, it's what people want from you.
Four words to build a relationship, business, anything: "I need your help."
The most important communication skill of all - the ability to appropriately magnify you and your colleagues' accomplishments.
· The only three things that matter in your business:
Delight customers.
Two reasons why people spend money:
Solutions to Problems
Good Feelings
Be productive.
Run your business with controlled urgency - violin string should be 90% taught, not too loose (no music) not too tight (breaks)
Quality, Quantity; Cost, Timeliness... Focus on what's important.
Have good morale.
Have a workplace that is challenging, meaningful, and fun.
Say this to yourself: "I have choice."
Five competitive advantages:
More
Better
Faster
Different
Cheaper
Today, the most important one is DIFFERENT because everyone is already doing the other four and few are being DIFFERENT.
Do what you love in the service of those who love what you do.